Are you two-faced? Honestly…are you?

I met a friend of my husband’s recently. We’ll call him “John.” Because these are topics that I am passionate about, our conversation centered around career, retirement and legacy. It’s no coincidence that these are the topics that I most often cover in this blog. So, when our conversation went down that path, I happily followed, eager to see what gems John might impart that I, of course, would share with you.

Well,  John had lots to share on all three.  He had a career from which he has retired and continues to think about his legacy.

John shared that he worked with the same firm for a few decades. He was very financially successful, but as a surprise revelation, he did not like his job and, even more surprisingly, did not like the people he worked with. That sounded like a long time to stay in a relationship you do not like. Before you gasp and clutch your pearls, we all know a lot of marriages that meet this definition.  

John was two-faced.

What he revealed to me is that he was one way at work and another at home.  His wife even added that he was not very nice while “on the clock” and a completely different guy in his home environment.  John explained that he found his success in getting things done, and being nice was not going to work for him. He took a psychometric test revealing that he was not living an integrated life.  John having two faces was not healthy.  Some believe that having two different identities is necessary.

To really get his best advice about this, I asked him what he would advise his children.  His advice will not surprise you: Find something you love and find a way to enjoy your career. I enjoyed talking to John. I cannot imagine him as the jerk he says he was. 

Here is my take on this and best advice to you, given John’s insights: If you are in a role/company that does not allow you to be yourself, you are in the wrong company. Period!

Dr. Lisa

PS: Our theme song is “Whatcha See is Whatcha Get” by The Dramatics